Now that the investing world is moving towards a world of total ETFification, I think it’s time we begin giving these fee generating, cash cows catchy ticker symbols that we can actually remember.

The easiest way, in my opinion, is to associate each sector or macro investing goal with commonly known pop culture references. Obviously, this is a double edged sword and can work for or against that particular industry or macro objective, but as the old adage goes, the only thing worse than being talked about is to not be talked about at all.

So here we go…

The 20 Best ETF Stock Symbols that Will Never Happen

1. SMOG: For the hydrocarbon industry.
2. TNA: For the adult film, adult publishing and gentleman’s club industry.
3. GNA: For the Guns and Ammo defense industry.
4. DD: For the vanity industry (think cosmetic surgery).
5. STD: For the pharma/biotech industry.
6. TBTF: For the Too Big To Fail banks and any other company that received government bailouts.
7. POO: For the fertilizer industry.
8. BS: For the mainstream media (MSM) industry. (STFU and WTF are also suitable.)
9. WOODY: Timber stocks (could potentially be confused with the TNA, porn industry ETF).
10. BUBL: For the investment banking industry.
11. FATTY: For the fast food industry.
12. SIN: For the sin stocks (alcohol, tobacco, firearms, etc.).
13. FEES: For the airline industry (and their fee based revenue model).
14. MUD: For the terraforming and earth moving industry.
15. CASH: For those who can’t decide where to put their money to work, and don’t mind paying 0.5% management fees for a Plain Jane money market account.
16. MISER: For the insurance industry (likes to collect; fights like hell to pay out).
17. DEBT: A macro ETF for those who believe government bonds and Keynesian economics are the only way to go.
18. DOOM: A macro ETF for those who call for the end of the world and want to profit on long tail events (e.g. governments defaulting upon or restructuring their sovereign debt.)
19. HELL: A macro based, double long, diversified ETF consisting of assets – gold, guns, ammo – if they believe the world is going to Hell in a handbasket.
20. FUBAR: A macro based, triple short ETF for those who want to short every stock market index from the G20 countries.

(Note: a few ticker symbols used in this list are currently being used. No harm or malice is intended by including them in this list, and they were only re-used in this capacity for their humor generating potential.)

So how about it? Got a catchy stock symbol for a fictitious ETF in an ETF’d to death world? If so, let’s hear it.